Childlike Gratitude
How do you teach a kid in such a way that they come to their own conclusions without feeling indoctrinated? I want to teach Ke'ano my values but I don't want it to backfire when he's 16 once he realizes their not his values, but his families. So how do you teach something so that they can own it? I think that is the big parenting question I'll be working through my whole life. Where is the boundary between being a bit too postmodern (i.e. don't teach a kid anything let them learn themselves which I think serves no purpose) and hammering beliefs into their heads until they want nothing to do with the one teaching. I've seen so many friends walk away from God and value systems they were raised with out of sheer annoyance. Modeling is the most powerful thing a parent can do but beyond that, what else is there?
I had a cool experience last Thursday when Ke'ano and I were strolling in the altadena foothills. After we'd been walking for quite some time he asked to go sit down and rest at which point he found a big rock under a huge tree. Out of nowhere he says very casually out loud--Thanks for this rock and shade God. I like it.-- that was it. One sentence. I began to think about that moment as we continued our walk after resting. Not too long ago I had been putting him to bed and I asked him to pray and he said--Dear God, thanks for the food....--and then he realized that was the wrong formula for the moment. He knows he prays before he eats, but did he really understand why he prays? SO now, months later as he is experiencing something as natural and simplistic as a tree that gives shade, he is grateful for it and he had the awareness and connection to God to know that he is the giver and maker of all things and the he is the one to be thanked. Ke'ano continues to send up his thank yous to God when he feels indebted about something--whether it is trees that keep him cool, or running into a school friend at the library he hasn't seen in two months he is very grateful for these mundane "ordinary" occurrences. I hope this is something he doesn't lose as he gets older.
This morning I was whipping a towel around our kitchen trying to kill all the fruit flies that have been driving me crazy. Ke'ano came into the kitchen and asked what I was doing. When I told him he gave me a disapproving look and told me I should not kill the flies because God made them and they are alive for a reason. We've never taught him anything direct like that. I stopped killing the fruit flies, and instead I put the rest of the fruit in the fridge. It is so amazing to see how this little 5 year old's mind develops and comes into his own understanding of God.
How do you teach a kid in such a way that they come to their own conclusions without feeling indoctrinated? I want to teach Ke'ano my values but I don't want it to backfire when he's 16 once he realizes their not his values, but his families. So how do you teach something so that they can own it? I think that is the big parenting question I'll be working through my whole life. Where is the boundary between being a bit too postmodern (i.e. don't teach a kid anything let them learn themselves which I think serves no purpose) and hammering beliefs into their heads until they want nothing to do with the one teaching. I've seen so many friends walk away from God and value systems they were raised with out of sheer annoyance. Modeling is the most powerful thing a parent can do but beyond that, what else is there?
I had a cool experience last Thursday when Ke'ano and I were strolling in the altadena foothills. After we'd been walking for quite some time he asked to go sit down and rest at which point he found a big rock under a huge tree. Out of nowhere he says very casually out loud--Thanks for this rock and shade God. I like it.-- that was it. One sentence. I began to think about that moment as we continued our walk after resting. Not too long ago I had been putting him to bed and I asked him to pray and he said--Dear God, thanks for the food....--and then he realized that was the wrong formula for the moment. He knows he prays before he eats, but did he really understand why he prays? SO now, months later as he is experiencing something as natural and simplistic as a tree that gives shade, he is grateful for it and he had the awareness and connection to God to know that he is the giver and maker of all things and the he is the one to be thanked. Ke'ano continues to send up his thank yous to God when he feels indebted about something--whether it is trees that keep him cool, or running into a school friend at the library he hasn't seen in two months he is very grateful for these mundane "ordinary" occurrences. I hope this is something he doesn't lose as he gets older.
This morning I was whipping a towel around our kitchen trying to kill all the fruit flies that have been driving me crazy. Ke'ano came into the kitchen and asked what I was doing. When I told him he gave me a disapproving look and told me I should not kill the flies because God made them and they are alive for a reason. We've never taught him anything direct like that. I stopped killing the fruit flies, and instead I put the rest of the fruit in the fridge. It is so amazing to see how this little 5 year old's mind develops and comes into his own understanding of God.
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