Bernardo

I received a phone call from Bernardo's social worker. He is going to be placed with a different family for the third time since he left us. The social worker revealed that as he sat in her office last week he poured out his heart to her admitting that he realized D and I were never 'in it' for the money but that we really cared about him and wanted to help him out. He realizes this after living with families where money was the motivator. He wants to come back.

My heart is pulled. My conscience, my faith, my head and my feelings all tell me to take him back. My private self says, what about you? Your sanity? Your space? Your life? Honestly, if my sister in law hadn't just moved in with us I don't think it would be a question, I'd want him back with us in a minute. But my American side has kicked in saying--one more person in your house, are you crazy? Its funny that my main reason for toiling over this question is a matter of space. It has nothing to do with what happened last time, the police calls in the middle of the night, the court visitations etc...It's a matter of bringing someone into a private space that I want so desperately to call my own. But is that right?

I envision taking bernardo in again, in that prodigal son sort of way, celebrating this life returned because our family actually does love him. Maybe I am more the prodigal in this case.

we don't have much time to decide.