A letter from K to his Dad

K is learning how to use email right now. This is what he wrote to his dad today. (He dictated, I wrote)

I miss you dad. but, I miss you because I wish I could be at work just like you when I grow up. I could be a computer worker or dirtbiker or a singer. And if you want me to be a singer tell me what band you want it to be when I grow up. Any band. just tell me. So, I love you. I love all my family, but I wish I could go in the same one that you work at when I grow up. and I wish someday I could go to work with you and see how you fix computers. So, you will be my funniest dad, or someday if you have a vacation we could play all the time and we could go somewhere. We could go to little park someday. So, you could be my bestest dad, even don't forget to remember about my band, whatever band you want to call, if it is a secret band you can call it two names. that's all. Love, K

This is turning into a weekly update...

Another week gone by. Time is going quickly. K sleeps again on the couch as I write. I am taking a break from studying herbs that 'cool the blood and drain heat.' We finished off last week by going to the movies and watching Herbie which I enjoyed almost as much as K. Now he is asking David and I to buy a VW Bug and paint a number 53 on it.

One of K's training wheels was removed over the weekend and he has been promised a pair of biking gloves from his dad once he learns how to ride on two wheels. We don't exactly live in an area conducive to learning how to bikeride. We live on top of a mountain. You can go down, but then you must return. This has made it difficult for K to keep at it but he is gaining more confidence and the prospect of new biking gloves has proved to be a nice incentive.

Monday was spent with his mom who didn't have to work that day and Tuesday we were back at our adventures. The agenda? We rode the metro from Pasadena into Chinatown. K followed the map the entire ride, counting the number of stops remaining and practicing his reading. The whole trip was about 25 minutes, about the same amount of time it would have taken to drive (w/o traffic). I have to admit, my reasons for going to chinatown were purely selfish at first--i needed to by some herbs but I quickly realized I could entice K into being excited with a ride on the train. This is cheap entertainment and I highly recommend it to anyone living in a urban area with few ideas of activities.

Earlier in the morning K had asked if I would buy him a wooden snake in Chinatown (Something he had seen on a former visit). I was going to say yes but before I did it hit me to try something new. I told him he could earn some money by doing chores. One organized couch, dusted piano, and clean toilet later he had earned $2.00 for his trip. Now, I told him I didn't know how much the snake cost so I wasn't sure he would have enough money. The deal was that he could spend his $2.00 on whatever he wanted but if he saw the snake or another toy he wanted that was more money he had the option to save his money until a later trip when he had worked for more money. He ended up buying 2 packs of the fire cracker things that you throw on the ground and they pop. He was more than happy with his purchase and even had .50 left over. He was hungry after that and it was nearly lunchtime so I decided to spring for a treat and eat out. K picked a chinese restuarant where one of the Jackie Chan movies was filmed. The place had a "B" rating from the health department as most restaurants in Chinatown do. (I've heard it's because of how they store their meat but i'm not sure). We both ate a $3.00 lunch special and left feeling very full.

K was tired by this time and I told him only one more stop to an herb shop where I bought
Ju Hua (Chrysanthemum flower), Gan Cao (Licorice Root), and Niu Bang Zi (not sure of the english). Ju Hua and Gan Cao are brewed together in China during the summer to help with irritability due to heat. Figured I could use a few gallons of the stuff at this point. I'm not a fan of licorice in any form so I didn't really enjoy the tea but added some mint to try and mask the flavor a little bit. Not too bad.

After the herbs we hopped on the train and came back home where we put on our suits and went swimming.

When K wakes up we may go see Charlie and the Chocolate factory. It is so dang hot outside that it's hard to be active right now. Tomorrow I'm thinking the beach with K and david's 8 year old brother, also K's best friend.

It's 11:05 am

I spent the first part of my morning camped out at the DMV trying to renew my car registration that is due...today. This is what happens when one procrastinates in changing the address on their License after moving and inadvertantly never receives their renewal notice...

Stopped by target on the way home, picked up K, ate some breakfast and now the little one is currently passed out on the couch with exhaustion...

This afternoon we will eat lunch with David and then head out to a movie at the three dollar theater nearby.

We hit up the Los Angeles County Museum of Art on tuesday for the free day. Right now the King Tut exhibit is going on. We didn't go to that as it costs around 25$ a person but they did have a hands on children's exhibit on egypt that was pretty neat. WE got to unearth artifacts burried in sandboxes using paint brushes and other archaeological tools. We made jewelry to decorate a mummy sarcophagus, wrote our names in hieroglyphs, and read books on mummification. We walked over to the main museum after and walked through the modern art wing which was confusing to K (and to myself i must admit) and through one other wing with central american art and some other types as well. K, being at the age he is at, and, never having had 'art' surround his life, is still convinced that nudity in art is 'nasty' regardless of the fact that it is art. K enjoyed the religious art because he could identify Jesus. It was as though he finally understood something in this massive space of personal expression. While looking at one painting of a crucifixion scene he said that he felt sad because Jesus was up there instead of him...It was interesting because while we've talked about Jesus and the cross, and the reason he died, he never seemed to comprehend that (who would...an act of grace that earth shattering doesn't make sense). Out of the blue K comes out with a comment like that. Cool. his mind is churning.

I had my marathon day of classes yesterday. Got my ear "seeded" for my TMJ by a classmate. (Seed therapy is in place of acupuncture on the ear. tiny seeds (i have indian mustard seeds) are taped on the ear to provide constant stimulation to a point. I'm not sure what i think about seed therapy yet, i need to read some research on it...

My anatomy class proved to be ever engaging as we talked at length about HDL LDL high cholesterol etc... Cholesterol meds should always be a last resort in my humble, first year of oriental medical school, opinion. Cholesterol levels of individuals suffering from heart attacks, strokes, or other blockages are across the board. What has shown up consistantly in individuals suffering from the above is elevated homocysteine levels (an amino acid) which can be reduced by taking vitamin B12. I continually find information like this fascinating in light of pharmaceutical companies perpetually pushing drugs at the public...but i won't go into that rant right now. i'll save that for a later blog.

i'm off to studying........

family

i am so proud of my big sister.

My life as a Stay at Home Step Mom week 1

P.S. this blog is still ugly. David says he has offered to change it many times but i've always insisted on doing it myself (ME refuse help??? I don't remember him ever offering....)...

anyway.

This week was full and i found myself fairly exhausted by 7:30. but it was a good exhausted with very exciting days to thank for that welcomed tiredness at the end of the day.

On Tuesday K and I ventured out to the La Brea Tar Pits located on Wilshire in Los Angeles. I learned that Los Angeles is the only urban area that currently has an archaeological dig on an on-going basis.. Quite frankly, it is amazing to have a dig going on in between office buildings, high rises, theater houses, and everything else city life offers. We hit the museum on its freeday which translates into every day camp and school group in the L.A. area being present. It wasn't so bad. The museum is fairly small. We did one walk thru, watched a 15 minute film on the tar pit's history, and learned about fossils. K really enjoyed the film; so much so that he we went back later on to watch it again. We spent that afternoon at some friends' pool. In one afternoon K's water confidence shot up more than in did all last summer. It was amazing to watch.

On wednesday I started my fourth quarter of school. I am taking four classes, three of them on wednesday, which means i start at 10:30 am and don't end until 9:30 pm. I'm taking an herbs class, an anatomy class, microsystems (ear, hand, foot acupuncture), and fricken ol' boring chemsitry on saturday mornings. Not working has allowed me much more time to study already which is a whole new feeling for me. I really enjoy all that i'm learning. K spent the day at his grandpa's house on wednesday.

Thursday morning we went to the Huntington Library and walked all around their botanical gardens. Right around the time K started to complain that his legs hurt i prayed something interesting would happen to hold his attention for the rest of the rather long walk. a little while later we ran into some of his classmates froms school and their mothers which was wonderful. So much so that K didn't want to leave when we had to.

Friday was off to the library to return and check out new books then off to the airport to drop a friend off and finally on to the swimming pool as promised earlier.

This is an Ugly Blog

But i'd rather do anything else in the world than change it because it takes me forever.

Large Number of Kids=Germs

I have never really hid the fact that I don't do well with large numbers of children. They begin to weird me out and I feel like should be wearing a space suit or at the very least, yellow, rubber dish gloves. I still feel like there's hope for me. I went through a pretty long phase of hating dogs and their tongues which usually found a way to my skin. Then I got Sam the dog and anyone who knows me understands my odd obsession with the dog. Sam cured my strong dislike of dogs. Now i'll pet any dog i see. i let them lick my face. i even shared an ice cream cone with Sam the other day.

Maybe if i hang out with large groups of kids long enough my fear of their dirty hands and sweaty faces will disipate.

This past Saturday K and I went to the park by our house to meet David and his friend who were practicing Capoeira. K became bored after awhile and asked to go down to the playground. I went down with him and figured I'd sit on the swing while he played like I often do. He asked me to play with him (which i suck at because i suck with kids). We started playing tag. There were two other kids playing tag on the same structure. They asked to join us. Pretty soon we had a group of 7 playing. David came down to the playground just in time to hear me scream, land in a cloud dust and completely wipeout. In an overzealous attempt to outrun a FOURTH grade boy while wearing flip flops I managed to run smack into an idle chain that happend to be attached to a swing. I'm a winner. I can't imagine what the other parents must of thought of me running around like a baboon. I can't imagine what the few others thought when they heard the story of why I had a bump on my eyebrow.

The point of my story is that I actually had FUN with all these little people. I actually told David to go on home and that K and I would meet him later. (I thinkhe was shocked). If I was in therapy this would be a breakthrough.

Today, July 1, is my first day of intentional, gainful, unemployment. I left my office yesterday feeling weird. I'd had months to adjust to the fact that I'd be leaving but nothing really prepared me for what I ended up feeling at the end of the day. I was ready to be done. I won't technically miss what I did, I was unchallenged, and quite frankly very lazy by the end of my time there, but I am a relationship person. And leaving my very small office of older women who had taken the past year and half to invest in my life was sad. I will miss that constant community of people. When I left my job at the disfunctional human rights organization 2 years ago I was so fed up with non profit and the pursuit of social justice issues within an organization. I'd seen unethical practice upon unethical practice that progressives only like to cite huge corporations for. Only it was in this small, private, 'do-good' sector. Finding my niche at this small 6 person organization (only 3 person when I jumped aboard) restored my hope that some organizations haven't been corrupted and can be well run, provided the right people are in leadership.

So that chapter of life has ended. And while it was sad for a minute, the future looks very exciting and much more of a personal challenge.

My life with a 6 year old:
When i first got married I checked out any book I could find on step parenting...there is not much out there on the subject; at least at my local library. The few books I did locate weren't much help. My favorite book I read opened saying something along the lines of,
"So, you are a step parent. You are probably wondering what your role will be like for your step children. Remember Cindarella? You are like that evil step mother and will never be able to change."

I dropped that book pretty quickly and moved on to regular parenting books.

How did my first day of my new job begin? After waking up and watering the garden I cleaned up some. (Unemployment makes me feel like i have no excuse for a dirty house now). David went and picked up K from his mother's house.

K walks into our front door wearing the same clothes we brought him to school in on Wednesday (It is now Friday). His shirt bears resemblance to the white it used to be. He is wearing shoes and only one adult sock. I tell him he should probably take a shower. He doesn't fight and says he was going to ask to take a bath anyway. I'm shocked that I don't have to fight about this with him. He showers, I eat breakfast. He sees a math worksheet I printed up for him only he thinks it's his Tia's. He asks her if he can show her how to do it. We both say yes. (Why correct him and tell him it was his all along. He'd be less likely to do it.)

I shower and allow him to watch the Croc Hunters most dangerous moments video while I get ready. We leave the house, stopping at Target to buy Pajamas for him to take to his mother's house since he claims to not have any (and he did arrive wearing his regular clothes of 2 days ago so i believe him). We go to Pasadena Central Library and sign up for the summer reading club. He somehow finds a wrestlemania book in the adult fiction section while I'm searching for an Annie Dillard book. He asks if he can take it, and while it's not my first choice, I say yes because it's nice to see a kid excited about reading. We head down to the childrens section and read a few books together, check out 34 to take home, and leave.

We head down to the California Science Center which is free every day except for the $6.00 it costs to park. Not a bad deal for a few hours of entertainment. Right now they have a special exhibit on Robots which K seems to enjoy. We stay about an hour and a half before K asks to leave because he's tired. (Note to self, we probably won't do long excursions on days he is coming from mom's house as he never seems to sleep when he's there). We come home, eat a late lunch and mom picks him up. He runs out as though being freed from prison (it's taken a long time to not take that personally) and I tell him I'll see him tomorrow.

K is a complicated kid with many layers who lacks self confidence. I think he's got a lot of anger and I'm not sure how to work with it.

Its hard to be the stepmom evil or not. I'm constantly reminded that I'm not his mom whether through verbal interactions with K or otherwise. I lie somewhere between nanny and blood relative.