Today, July 1, is my first day of intentional, gainful, unemployment. I left my office yesterday feeling weird. I'd had months to adjust to the fact that I'd be leaving but nothing really prepared me for what I ended up feeling at the end of the day. I was ready to be done. I won't technically miss what I did, I was unchallenged, and quite frankly very lazy by the end of my time there, but I am a relationship person. And leaving my very small office of older women who had taken the past year and half to invest in my life was sad. I will miss that constant community of people. When I left my job at the disfunctional human rights organization 2 years ago I was so fed up with non profit and the pursuit of social justice issues within an organization. I'd seen unethical practice upon unethical practice that progressives only like to cite huge corporations for. Only it was in this small, private, 'do-good' sector. Finding my niche at this small 6 person organization (only 3 person when I jumped aboard) restored my hope that some organizations haven't been corrupted and can be well run, provided the right people are in leadership.
So that chapter of life has ended. And while it was sad for a minute, the future looks very exciting and much more of a personal challenge.
My life with a 6 year old:
When i first got married I checked out any book I could find on step parenting...there is not much out there on the subject; at least at my local library. The few books I did locate weren't much help. My favorite book I read opened saying something along the lines of,
"So, you are a step parent. You are probably wondering what your role will be like for your step children. Remember Cindarella? You are like that evil step mother and will never be able to change."
I dropped that book pretty quickly and moved on to regular parenting books.
How did my first day of my new job begin? After waking up and watering the garden I cleaned up some. (Unemployment makes me feel like i have no excuse for a dirty house now). David went and picked up K from his mother's house.
K walks into our front door wearing the same clothes we brought him to school in on Wednesday (It is now Friday). His shirt bears resemblance to the white it used to be. He is wearing shoes and only one adult sock. I tell him he should probably take a shower. He doesn't fight and says he was going to ask to take a bath anyway. I'm shocked that I don't have to fight about this with him. He showers, I eat breakfast. He sees a math worksheet I printed up for him only he thinks it's his Tia's. He asks her if he can show her how to do it. We both say yes. (Why correct him and tell him it was his all along. He'd be less likely to do it.)
I shower and allow him to watch the Croc Hunters most dangerous moments video while I get ready. We leave the house, stopping at Target to buy Pajamas for him to take to his mother's house since he claims to not have any (and he did arrive wearing his regular clothes of 2 days ago so i believe him). We go to Pasadena Central Library and sign up for the summer reading club. He somehow finds a wrestlemania book in the adult fiction section while I'm searching for an Annie Dillard book. He asks if he can take it, and while it's not my first choice, I say yes because it's nice to see a kid excited about reading. We head down to the childrens section and read a few books together, check out 34 to take home, and leave.
We head down to the California Science Center which is free every day except for the $6.00 it costs to park. Not a bad deal for a few hours of entertainment. Right now they have a special exhibit on Robots which K seems to enjoy. We stay about an hour and a half before K asks to leave because he's tired. (Note to self, we probably won't do long excursions on days he is coming from mom's house as he never seems to sleep when he's there). We come home, eat a late lunch and mom picks him up. He runs out as though being freed from prison (it's taken a long time to not take that personally) and I tell him I'll see him tomorrow.
K is a complicated kid with many layers who lacks self confidence. I think he's got a lot of anger and I'm not sure how to work with it.
Its hard to be the stepmom evil or not. I'm constantly reminded that I'm not his mom whether through verbal interactions with K or otherwise. I lie somewhere between nanny and blood relative.
So that chapter of life has ended. And while it was sad for a minute, the future looks very exciting and much more of a personal challenge.
My life with a 6 year old:
When i first got married I checked out any book I could find on step parenting...there is not much out there on the subject; at least at my local library. The few books I did locate weren't much help. My favorite book I read opened saying something along the lines of,
"So, you are a step parent. You are probably wondering what your role will be like for your step children. Remember Cindarella? You are like that evil step mother and will never be able to change."
I dropped that book pretty quickly and moved on to regular parenting books.
How did my first day of my new job begin? After waking up and watering the garden I cleaned up some. (Unemployment makes me feel like i have no excuse for a dirty house now). David went and picked up K from his mother's house.
K walks into our front door wearing the same clothes we brought him to school in on Wednesday (It is now Friday). His shirt bears resemblance to the white it used to be. He is wearing shoes and only one adult sock. I tell him he should probably take a shower. He doesn't fight and says he was going to ask to take a bath anyway. I'm shocked that I don't have to fight about this with him. He showers, I eat breakfast. He sees a math worksheet I printed up for him only he thinks it's his Tia's. He asks her if he can show her how to do it. We both say yes. (Why correct him and tell him it was his all along. He'd be less likely to do it.)
I shower and allow him to watch the Croc Hunters most dangerous moments video while I get ready. We leave the house, stopping at Target to buy Pajamas for him to take to his mother's house since he claims to not have any (and he did arrive wearing his regular clothes of 2 days ago so i believe him). We go to Pasadena Central Library and sign up for the summer reading club. He somehow finds a wrestlemania book in the adult fiction section while I'm searching for an Annie Dillard book. He asks if he can take it, and while it's not my first choice, I say yes because it's nice to see a kid excited about reading. We head down to the childrens section and read a few books together, check out 34 to take home, and leave.
We head down to the California Science Center which is free every day except for the $6.00 it costs to park. Not a bad deal for a few hours of entertainment. Right now they have a special exhibit on Robots which K seems to enjoy. We stay about an hour and a half before K asks to leave because he's tired. (Note to self, we probably won't do long excursions on days he is coming from mom's house as he never seems to sleep when he's there). We come home, eat a late lunch and mom picks him up. He runs out as though being freed from prison (it's taken a long time to not take that personally) and I tell him I'll see him tomorrow.
K is a complicated kid with many layers who lacks self confidence. I think he's got a lot of anger and I'm not sure how to work with it.
Its hard to be the stepmom evil or not. I'm constantly reminded that I'm not his mom whether through verbal interactions with K or otherwise. I lie somewhere between nanny and blood relative.
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